I’m exhausted.
I think I can finally admit that to myself. I’m at a place where I’m just exhausted. Emotionally, mentally, financially, and even physically.
You know how you’ve been holding it together, putting one foot in front of the other and just managing small small, and then something happens and you just crumble? I think I got there today.
I don’t even know if the week I’ve had was tasking, I just know that I even took a break from social media, because it was too much for me to even post anything. I just felt drained all week.
Funny how in the midst of all this, I received so much revelation from God, and understood things He spoke to me over a year ago, and things He had been speaking repeatedly that I obeyed without understanding.
Anyway what I want to share today is how sometimes we don’t see how much value we add and bring to the table, because all our lives we’ve thought something else was the more important contribution.
I did something for someone today. It was random, and just something that came to mind to do. He was so appreciative of it that it made me reflect. Especially because for so long I’d felt like I wasn’t doing anything for the people in my life or adding value to them. I guess I felt this way because of the way they responded to my contributions as well.
The truth is we all are called to do different things. We all have different gifts and talents. I cannot spend my life thinking someone else’s gift is better than mine and appreciate my own gift at the same time. I simply will not devalue my gifts and talents anymore.
I’ve also found that hanging around people who do not appreciate your gifts and talents will also cause you to devalue them. I’ve said this before, my ultimate love language is appreciation, and even though I’m at a point where I don’t live my life based on the approval of anyone but God, I’ve decided to not hang around people who tolerate me, and treat me like I’m disposable.
I am a prize, and I see my value. It doesn’t matter what anyone else sees, I see myself how God sees me. My gifts may not be celebrated, or popular with the crowd, but they’re mine, and God gave them to me for a purpose, and I will fulfill that purpose.
I hope you get to this point too.
PS: I’m still on a break, sometimes you need time to recover and recoup, and that too is okay. Take all the time you need.
Love, Yoma.
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