So if you’re a young person particularly in your 20s or early 30s you can probably relate to financial difficulty, and just trying to balance life out. Figuring out relationships, especially new ones, trying to understand who to trust, you’ve lived enough to have been dealt some serious wounds, lost some battles, won some, and yet you still have so much in front of you.
I’ll be honest with you, no matter how resilient you are, you will get weary. I’m one of the most resilient people I know. The honest truth is there’s probably only one person in this world that knows just how resilient, but I really am a warrior. I can fight just about anything even if I have to fight it alone, but even I get tired and weary.
I’ve been fighting for a long long time, and honestly it’s probably the only way I know how to live. I fight until I win.
Anyway I’m at a point in my life where instability is my normal. It’s just always something. If it’s not relational struggles, it’s financial struggles, if it’s not that then it’s someone in my family moving hella funny, and if it’s not that then it’s my past threatening to take me out someway.
Can anyone else in my age group relate? Where life just seems to be slapping you up and down, and it’s like “can I get a break?”
Today I got to a point where I was so concerned about my pending bills and my upcoming ones, not to talk of the struggle of affording the things I need, and I was starting to worry, and then I went back and read through my devotionals, and just messages on Twitter and I calmed down, because I saw all the ways that God had spoken about the situations I would face later on in the day.
Something I realized during the course of the day is that if your major problems are money related then you’re one lucky person, because it means your problem is a thing, and money answereth all things. There are some problems money just can’t solve. Those are the problems you don’t want.
I really really like that about God. How He calms me down and gives me peace in the middle of tough situations. I think that a lot of people expect God to miraculously solve your problems, and He does. He really does, but for me most of the time it’s the reassurance that gets me. The times when He calms me down, encourages me, tells me what to do, honors me, and just generally loves on me.
You know what’s funny, I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that I’m lonely before.
I think the reason this is so important for me is that if you’ve ever had love and lost it, it’s a different kind of lonely and I think God knows I’m lonely, so He fills in the void.
You know what’s funny? I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that I’m lonely before. Loneliness is not a thing, so money can’t solve it. So most of my problems right now will go away with $100, but the loneliness in my soul, the pain and the heartache? That’s a problem only God can solve.
Love, Yoma.
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