Today I was listening to this August Alsina song "I luv this shit" Remix with Chris Brown and Trey Songz, and there's a part of the song that goes "Hair's fucked up 'cause I'm pulling it like this" and it gave me major flashbacks to this one time I had braids in a shuku hairstyle, (see picture below) and the loml was pulling it during some major backshots action.
Thinking about all that good sex made me start to think about you know the sex we had, and I started to think about what kind of sex I like. Well not really what kind of sex I like, more like what kind of sex I want to have in my relationship/marriage.
As a person I'm pretty adventurous. I love to try new things. I love to do things that some people may consider inappropriate. For example I like to have sex in public places. I would love for my man to have his hand under my dress while we're having dinner at a Michelin star restaurant, after which we would escape to the bathroom for a quick round, because both of us are too hot to wait until we get to our room.
In thinking about all of this, I started to realize that I now think of relationships, and sex how I like and want it. This might not be new for some people, and kudos to those people, but for me I'm only just learning to think of things like that from my own perspective. What do I like, what do I want. Do I want this or do I want that. It's almost like dating myself.
What did I do before now? Well I love to give, and I'm pretty generous too, and so this attitude is what I took into relationships, and I would be more concerned with what my partner wanted, what he liked, etc. That's not entirely a bad thing, I'm just at a point in my life, where I'm learning to receive too. To receive love, gifts, and just generally understanding that it's okay to receive. In order to do that, I'm getting to know me, and the things I like. The way I want to be loved, the way I want to have sex, etc.
How does someone know how to love you, if you don't even know what you want? Although now that I think about it, it's not even about someone loving me, it's about me loving me. I can only love me if I know me. I want to know me completely and yet love me completely.
Anyway I got shit to do, like shower, and promote my new YouTube post, and edit my next YouTube one.
Love, Yoma
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