It’s 2:55pm in Istanbul and I’m currently in the process of making a pot of Nigerian Jollof Rice.
I‘ve just gotten off the phone with my friend Wale, and the conversation we had made me realize something really important.
I showed him my tattoo and told him what it meant. After the conversation I started to think about why I did that, and it didn’t take me long to figure it out, especially because of the 1 minute clips from Pastor Steven Furtick’s account I listened to earlier today.
We all have, well let me speak for myself. I have a desire to be/feel seen. You know, appreciated. I don’t know what love language appreciation falls under, but I’ve come to realize it’s one of the ways I like to receive love.
I realized that I showed him, and further explained it because I wanted someone to notice or care about what I did.
How do you react when you aren’t getting the attention you want or need? When you aren’t being appreciated by the people you want to appreciate you? When you just don’t feel loved or cared for, because the people you expect or want to care for you, just don’t seem to care?
Since I’ve moved to Istanbul, I don’t think I’ve felt understood or seen. Honestly it’s felt like I’ve been fighting since I moved here. People, things, my own insecurities, etc.
The truth is that I know deep down that nobody can see me or love me like God, but I sometimes need a reminder, and honestly God is faithful enough to remind me.
Some seasons in life, we will have people in our lives that God uses to show us love, people that see us, or seem to, people that appreciate us, and treat us special, but some seasons, God will take them away, so we can see that we never should rely on people for validation that we can only get from Him.
People struggle with getting validation from different things. Some people struggle with getting their validation from material things, others from status, yet others from approval. These things can be traced back to upbringing or societal conditioning. However none of them can fill up that void for validation, because they can all be taken away. It’s shaky ground.
For people that struggle with approval, when we don’t have the approval we crave from those we want it from, I hope you remember like I have, that God sees you doing the right things, and trying to heal, and love even when you’re utterly broken. He saw your mistakes, saw your struggle, saw y efforts to make things right, saw your pain, saw your joy, saw your love, He sees you. The Father Saw.
I hope you remember that God sees you, so you don’t act out. And if you need help remembering, watch this clip: https://youtu.be/Zc8NExdPO0g
Love, Yoma.
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