I spent a good couple minutes trying to find inspiration for this post, because I had the pictures for it, but I was trying to figure out what to write about. Thankfully tho, I already tweeted what I wanted to blog about, and so when I opened my Twitter I remembered.
Rejection can be very painful, but it can also be this really great character building thing, and if you handle it well, especially with God's help you'll find that it really is direction to something so much better than what you wanted.
Today I took the day off to unwind, because I knew God was telling me to rest. Honestly He was pretty much screaming it at me. I got the message, and just decided to relax. In the middle of my relaxation, I got a revelation.
Something became clearer, and I could suddenly hear God clearly about a new direction He wants me to go in, and it all began to make sense.
Sometimes people reject you, and you can't understand why. Especially if you spent so much time trying to fit in, or maybe you weren't even really trying to fit in, maybe you were just trying to exist in a space that didn't seem to have much room for you, and so you were just floating in the air, knowing you stood out like a sore thumb, but you were still kinda part of the hand anyway.
Have you ever just existed in a place, and sometimes it's like a whole culture; where everyone seems to think differently from you, and even your family members don't get you?
Your friends think differently, even your followers on Twitter think you're ridiculous with your ideas, and the most polite of them (the ones that kinda like you) say you live in a bubble, and the ones that don't like you, but won't say it, just find ways to throw jabs at everything you say slyly.
It's a weird thing. If you're like me, you probably weren't even really aware of how different you are. In fact in your head, you think everyone else thinks like you, and for some reason you don't really see that they don't, and even when you do, you just think it's a difference in opinion, and not really like a difference in essence or cultural mindsets.
Anyway I say all that to say that it took a big massive rejection process where everyone and I really mean EVERYONE rejected me or seemed to, for me to see that God was trying to take me to a place that was for me. My very own land. When I say everyone I mean, friends o, my lover o, my family o, everyone was dashing me rejection left, right and center. I was basically ostracized from my social circles, and didn't have anywhere to turn, so when the opportunity came for me to migrate to Istanbul, I grabbed it so fast.
Maybe one day I'll tell the full story of how God led me here, but basically I get why I had to go through all that rejection now. Sometimes the reason you don't fit in, is not because there's something wrong with you, sometimes the space is just too small for you.
The space was too small for me, and now all that rejection has sent me in the direction of a space that's big enough for me, and even better, it's my space.
I took these pictures from the balcony of my kitchen today, and the truth is I feel a peace and joy being here in Istanbul that even Abuja, my favorite Nigerian city didn't give me. Istanbul is just the beginning, but I'll from time to time show you #myistanbul as I fall in love with the city.
Love, Yoma
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