Friendship, Love, and Second Chances.

So if you’re anything like me, you’ve struggled with genuine connection. All kinds of connection. familial, romantic, even friendship. I’ll be honest with you I don’t remember a time I wasn’t struggling with connection. As far back as primary school I remember struggling. I can’t say that I know the reason why, but that’s not what this post is about anyway.

This post is about me learning to handle difficult relationships. One of the things I think God is and has been teaching me is how to handle people. All kinds of people. To learn to not expect perfection from people, and to love even with shortcomings.

The thing is I used to be the sort of person that didn’t give second chances. Well maybe I shouldn’t put it like that. I should say real second chances. It would take a mighty long time to get me to the point where I wrote a person off, because I give so much grace to others that most people think I’m being ridiculous, but when I got to the point of writing a person off from my mind, there was no turning back.

Another thing is I struggled deeply to be around, with, or love people that didn’t have the same beliefs, (and I don’t mean religious, just about life in general) ways and character as me. As a matter of fact it used to deeply aggravate me to the point where I would do horrible things to them.

However God has been teaching me to collaborate with people and love them regardless of how I feel about them in the moment, because the truth is feelings cloud your vision a lot of the time. Sometimes you’re not looking at a situation objectively, because of your feelings of hurt, betrayal and anger.

Today I was going through my Snapchat memories because it’s Olamide’s birthday tomorrow, and looking through them I was just smiling all through.

Olamide and I have been through so much in the 5 months we’ve known each other. The horrible fights we had, and bad times had honestly clouded my vision about the relationship. I’ll be honest with you I had written the friendship off. Too much had happened, and it felt like such a struggle to patch it up. Honestly I felt like she had done too much to me, and truthfully she had done some horrible things to me. There’s also the fact that we’re nothing alike.

What I was forgetting was how much of a blessing she had also been to me. In moments where I needed it the most. She had housed me no questions asked when I showed up on her doorstep with all my luggage after ghosting her for a month, not calling on Christmas or New Years or anything like that with absolutely no explanation. She had put up with all my eccentricities, and I guess I just wasn’t seeing that it was just as hard for her to understand me as it was for me to understand her.

I guess the entire point of this post is to say that sometimes you have to lay your petty feelings aside, and remember that other people are just as imperfect as you, so you don’t let the negative memories color the good ones. The people God has ordained to bless you, may not be anything like you. I’m learning to love people genuinely regardless of how different they are from me.

So, here’s a happy birthday to Olamide. You’ve been a big blessing to me, you’ve helped me grow spiritually, you’ve been there for me in some of my lowest moments, and you’ve taught me a new definition of love. I wish you the best life has to offer, and I pray that you find blessings in the most unlikely places. God bless you, and help you in Jesus Name. Amen.

Love, Yoma.